Harry Potter and Facebook
by trufflelover
Summary: The Dark Lord paced back and forth. He needed a proper photo of himself for his Facebook. Something that will represent his evil. Something that will strike those with fear even though it's a mere 20 pixel icon. Something with so much evilness and cool to top off that Severus Snape's profile photo. AN: I NEED MORE IDEAS! PM me some suggestions! and i need a beta too lol :D
1. Chapter 1

_**Harry Potter Characters and Social Networks**_

**Chapter 1: Profile pictures.**

**Hermione Granger** has changed her profile picture.

**Ron Weasley** commented: isn't tis ur old yrbook photo?

**Hermione Granger**: Why are you typing like that? It's wasn't, by the way. 'Wasn't this your old yearbook photo?' And yes it is.

**Harry Potter** likes this photo.

**Harry Potter** commented: You look good 'Mione! don't worry abt Ron.

**Ginny Weasley** likes this photo.

**Ginny Weasley** commented: dun b such a prat Ron. 'mione, shouldn't u use something more…casual though?

**Hermione Granger**: it's a profile picture! It needs to show what I look like! Properly!

**Draco Malfoy** commented: mudblood, you can be so smart and so dumb at the same time.

The Dark Lord paced back and forth. He needed a proper photo of himself for his Facebook. Something that will represent his evil. Something that will strike those with fear even though it's a mere 20 pixel icon. Something with so much evilness and cool to top off that Severus Snape's profile photo. But Voldemort had to admit, Snape's profile picture looked pretty cool – it was a silhouette of his profile, finally a time where his huge nose came into use. Nonetheless, it had reaped up 50 likes ( mostly from fangirls but who cares. 50 likes. Voldemort needs to top this off!)

"Lucius. Do you see this?" The blond raised an eyebrow and directed his gaze to the monitor, where there was Snape's profile picture enlarged so that it took up most of the screen space. Lucius nodded.

"Now I need to do this. I need photo that will top this photo off and that MUST get over 50 likes!"

-after a while of purchasing an expensive muggle camera (that took a while because of the pair arguing which was better, Canon or Nikon), studio lights, a backdrop, and other props, plus the tedious setup to make sure the camera would capture the silhouette of the Dark Lord's profile-

The photo was finally uploaded. Lucius Malfoy wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. Malfoys never perspired…until they met Voldemort.

**Dark Lord** has changed his profile picture. With a description: CREDZ TO LUCIUS .

**Dumbledore** likes this photo.

**Bellatrix Lestrange** likes this photo.

**Bellatrix Lestrange** commented: You look so magnificently evil in this my Lord!

**$NAP3 RUL3Z** commented: copycat! You copied me! The silhouette was MY IDEA! And well everybody knows that I could pull it off quite well. At least WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY better than you, considering that I even HAVE a nose to make a proper PROFILE. SUCK ITTTT VOLDEMORTTTT. $NAP3 RUL3ZZZZZZ!

**$NAP3 RUL3Z** commented: PLUZZZ I GOT MOARRRR LIKES THAN YOU BIATCH.

"LUCIUS! WHEN YOU GET HOME, LOG IN AND GO LIKE MY PHOTO!" Voldemort was whisper-shouting, trying to contain his frustration. That damned Severus Snape!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Harry Potter updated his status: Voldemort sent me a friend request. Should I accept it or not?

Hermione Granger commented: NO!

Ron Weasley: it's just facebook, he cant do much harm…can he?

Bellatrix Lestrange commented: THE DARK LORD WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. ACCEPT HIS FRIENDSHIP YOU LITTLE

Dumbledore commented: You could always block him if he's bothering you.

Fred Weasley commented: ACCEPT! Can I use your acc to see his embarrassing photos? Voldemort still hasn't accepted my friend requests.

Harry Potter commented: no.

Fred Weasley commented: FINE. I'll hack into your account then.

Hermione Granger commented: Wait if you can hack into accounts then why don't you just hack into Voldemort's account?

Fred Weasley commented: YES! Finally 'mione your smartness has been of use.

Hermione Granger commented: …damn. Should've kept my mouth shut.

Pansy Parkinson is in a relationship with Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy commented: wait what?! When did I accept this?!

Harry Potter updated his status: Look guys Voldemort created his own little group for him and his Death Eaters! :link: and anybody can see their posts! Like where their secret meetings are and stuff

Draco Malfoy commented: you don't say!

Harry Potter commented: yeah! It even has a list of all the members! And their profiles. Now we just have to track them down. Im happy I accepted his friend request.

Draco Malfoy commented: I was being sarcastic Scarface.

Dark Lord commented: …POTTER! DELETE THIS. NOW.

$NAP3 RUL3Z commented: idiot voldemort.

Draco Malfoy is single.

Draco Malfoy is in a relationship with Green Apple.

Fangirl001 commented: hahaha! DRAPPLE!

Fangirl 001 liked this.

Fangirl 034 commented: oh noes what about DRAMIONE?

Draco Malfoy commented: who are you and what is this Dramione?

Fangirl 046 commented: Draco x Hermione. Dumbshit. But it's okay I still love you bc youre so hawt and smexy.

Hermione Granger commented: WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. Who would do such a thing. Why would I ever like Draco MALFOY?!

Harry Potter likes her comment.

Harry Potter commented: since when did malfoy have fangirls. And who would do such a thing such as this Dramione?!

Draco Malfoy commented: and I would never like you mudblood.

Ron Weasley commented: What?! Mione you and malfoy are a thing?

Hermione Granger commented: omg no! Malfoy and Green Apple are a thing! They're in a RELATIONSHIP!

Ron Weasley commented: who's green apple? An new exchange student? What where

Hermione Granger commented: NO. IT'S JUST A NORMAL GREEN APPLE. THE GREEN APPLE THAT MALFOY IS ALWAYS EATING.

Ron Weasley commented: what. That's kinda weird. And gross.

Draco Malfoy commented: oh god guys leave my love life least Green Apple isn't as gross and clingy as Pansy.

Harry Potter comment: what love life lol :P

**AN: OMG I AM SO SORRY. This is turning out to be kinda weird and there's no focus. I need ideas and themes! Pm me some? And suggestions? I hope you like this fic! : )**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Molly Weasley** sent family requests to all of her kids.

All of them declined.

**George Weasley** liked Zonko's Joke Shop.

**Fred Weasley** commented: ok, where is the dislike button? YOU TRAITOR

**George Weasley** commented: what why

**Ron Weasley** commented: yeah Zonko's is better. You guys are my bros the best you can do is give me your products free. Why do I have to pay when Harry doesn't have to?!

**Ginny Weasley** commented: that's bc Harry actually did something to help out with their business ron. You did nothing! For your own brothers!

**Ron Weasley** commented: hypocrite you didn't do anything either.

**Fred Weasley** commented: she did! Wait ron you know what hypocrite means?! Uh-oh. Ginny helped out with decorating the shop.

**George Weasley** commented: but fred we just put in a carpet and covered the walls with our products. If you take all our stuff off, it's just a plain wall with peeling paint…

**Fred Weasley **commented: shut up traitor you have no say in this.

**Draco Malfoy** commented: can somebody OTHER than a weasley comment on this I cant really keep track of who said what.

**Lucius Malfoy** updated his status: BELLATRIX! STOP SENDING ME GAME REQUESTS. I WILL NOT PLAY FARMVILLE BAKING LIFE PET SOCIETY SIMS SOCIAL OR TETRIS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ?! I AM A DEATH EATER DEATH EATERS DON'T NEED TO PLAY SILLY MUGGLE GAMES.

**Dark Lord** likes this.

**Dark Lord** commented: yeah she keeps sending me those stupid requests too..

**Lucius Malfoy** received 25 game requests.

**Lucius Malfoy** threw his laptop out the window.

**Narcissa Malfoy** lectured her husband on the value of technology.

**Lucius Malfoy** went outside, picked his laptop up and fixed it so that he could write another angry status update, but this time about his wife.

**Narcissa Malfoy **decided to embarrass her husband and lectured him ONLINE so that EVERYONE could see.

**Draco Malfoy** commented: mum dad. You're embarrassing me. Plus there's this thing called CHAT you know.

**Rita Skeeter** sent everybody friend requests.

Somehow everybody accepted.

She was unfriended/blocked by everybody in less than 3 hours.

**Ginny Weasley** uploaded a photo.

**Ron Weasley** commented: hey wasn't this during the new years eve party?

**Harry Potter** commented: ? I don't remember which one?

**Ginny Weasley** commented: you know…the year when Hermione got drunk?

**Draco Malfoy** commented: what? Granger?! The goody two-shoes Granger got drunk? And you bloody gryffindors drinking alcohol?

**Harry Potter** commented: oh yeah! Fond memories fred and George snuck some firewhiskey in lol.

**Hermione Granger**: what?! Is that me? On the table? Dancing?oh god what was I wearing Omg take this DOWN GINNY. TAKE THIS DOWN.

**Harry Potter** likes her comment. Ginny Weasley likes her comment.

**Ginny Weasley** commented: lol never.

**Ron Weasley** commented: haha. Fond memories.

**Harry Potter** commented: not really ron. Didn't drunk Hermione throw you out the window? You ended up at the Hospital Wing.

**Ginny Weasley** commented: REALLY?! HAHA!

**Hermione Granger** commented: well Ginny, not just him. I do have a vague memory of you drunk and on one knee, begging Harry to be your princess and that you were his knight in shining armor.

**Ginny Weasley** commented: wait what? Isn't it the other way around?

**Ron Weasley** commented: at some point harry ended up in a dress and wig.

**Harry Potter** commented: WHAT?! I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS.

**Draco Malfoy** commented: oh you gryffindorss.


End file.
